The Perks of Being a Levi Flower
by coritos
Summary: Levi is a flower that likes to watch Eren touch himself. Prompt from snk kinkmeme.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This is a response from a prompt on snk kinkmeme.

I knew the moment I read it that I needed to fill it.

I don't own SNK.

* * *

Eren realized after coming his brains out for the second time that sniffing the strange plant his mother left on his desk had been a horrible idea. That plant, which the tag had identified as a Levi Flower, must have been some sort of aphrodisiac or something because he honestly never felt so painfully aroused in his entire life.

He lay splayed open on his bed completely stripped, coated in a slick sheen of sweat and totally spent from his last orgasm, but oddly he still wasn't completely satisfied. He growled in frustration as his cock began to harden for the third time that night.

"What is wrong with me?" Eren whimpered, wrapping his fingers around his hypersensitive erection. He bit his bottom lip to stifle his moans as he began stroking his organ slowly.

Eren looked away from his cock to the plant still perched on his desk, seemingly watching the entire show he was putting on. The idea of anyone, or in this case Levi the plant, watching him become so undone was humiliating, but it was also strangely exciting. It made his skin flush with an unbearable heat and his need for another climax intensify.

As he continued to stroke his aching manhood, he slowly moved his other hand to his hardened nipples. His fingertips lingered awkwardly on the pink nubs. He never actually tried to stimulate his nipples before, but the moment he pinched one he threw his head back into the pillow, briefly wondering why he hadn't. It felt so much better than he expected. But soon, even that stimulation wasn't enough. No. He had an need deep inside of him that needed to be satisfied.

Reaching over to his nightstand, Eren grabbed a small bottle of lube. He quickly coated his fingers with the liquid before flipping over onto his hand and knees with his ass in the air, allowing the plant to watch him fuck himself on his fingers. The thought of doing this was so dirty and lewd it almost made him come right there.

"Levi, watch me fuck myself for you," Eren moaned, his lustful eyes staring over his shoulder at the flower as he reached down to rub his index finger against his puckered entrance.

A soft sigh left his parted lips as his fingertip gently massaged the ring of muscle until it was relaxed. He pushed his finger inside and tensed up slightly, never having fingered himself before, but he soldiered on, sliding it in deeper and deeper into his warm cavern. Once it was completely nestled, he let out the breath he was holding, letting himself a moment to relax and adjust, then pulled the finger out so that he could thrust it back in.

The rhythm of his finger moving back and forth inside of him caused him to groan into the sheets, and he quickly added a second. He scissored his opening impatiently, exploring every inch and wiggling slightly to stroke his prostate. He grinded his hips desperately against the mattress as he keened uncontrollably.

"Oh, L-Levi! Nhh," Eren panted, thrusting back onto his fingers more vigorously. His toes were curling and the heat of arousal pooled in his groin. He was so close.

He was on the verge of climax when he felt something sliding up his inner thigh. Startled by the contact, he opened his eyes, never realizing that he closed them in the first place, and peered over his shoulder to see what was touching him. He choked back a scream.

"What the fuck is going on?"

Behind him, the Levi Flower had grown exponentially in size, and its large plantacles were wrapped around Eren's exposed, heated body.

Eren quickly withdrew his fingers from his stretched hole and attempted to escape, but the plantacles held him in place. He tried to wriggle out of the flower's grasp, but it only caused the large roots to tighten around him.

He felt the tip of one plantacle thrust into his entrance, aiming straight at his prostate. Eren let out a whine and bucked his hips forward, all thoughts of escape leaving him as a wave of warmth coursed through his body. This was exactly what he needed, what he had been craving all night long.

The Levi Flower's pace quickened as it fucked the boy into the mattress. Eren whimpered wantonly, drool dripping down his chin. He was delirious with pleasure as he chanted Levi's name repeatedly, begging to be taken harder and faster. After one particularly well-aimed thrust, Eren came with a scream, shoving his face into a nearby pillow to muffle the sound and spilling his seed on the sheets below.

The flower relinquished its grip on the boy and shrank back to normal size while Eren collapsed onto his stomach, panting heavily after that last mind-numbing release. It had been the most intense orgasm he ever experienced. All of the physical exertion was taking it's toll on Eren's body, and his eyes began to droop as drowsiness set in.

Levi the flower watched from its spot on the desk as the brat fell asleep, snoring softly into his pillowcase. Not bad. Levi was definitely going to have fun with this kid.


	2. Chapter 2

Eren woke up the next morning with a sore asshole and the vague recollection that something very unusual took place last night, though he couldn't exactly remember what it was. Much to his embarrassment, the last memory he had of the previous night was of him presenting his ass for the Levi Flower sitting on his desk, scissoring his asshole so expertly and moaning like a seasoned pornstar. He even cried out Levi's name when he climaxed!

And then there was that delirious daydream he had about the plant growing plantacles, storming his ass like a tornado, and making him come like a faucet. Seriously! What was that about? He must have really been out it to imagine such a strange, fucked up thing! However, the shame he felt for having such a preposterous, depraved hallucination didn't quell the odd state of arousal he always felt himself experience every time he even so much as glanced at that damned flower.

Eren surmised that perhaps this phenomenon was the result of his pent-up sexual frustration. He decided that the best course of action would be to dispel some of this sexual energy by giving up his V-card, thus regaining his normal sense of mind that would kindly let his dick know that it definitely was NOT kosher to get a stiffy over photosynthetic beings, even if they could magically grow plantacles and fuck you into oblivion with them.

A week and three Craigslist posts later, Eren found himself reclining on his bed, naked and panting wildly underneath an equally undressed French stranger named Jean. Even during the heavy petting session, Eren could still feel the Levi Flower watching him, which turned him on even more than he really wanted to admit.

Eren drew his attention away from the plant, instead focusing on the toned chest and the pink, swollen lips looming over him, beckoning him to lean up for a taste. He licked his own lips and pulled Jean closer to his body, claiming the other boy's mouth in a fierce battle of dominance. Jean lowered his hips down, rutting his erect member against Eren's, forcing the brunet writhing underneath him to emit a soft gasp, and he took that opportunity to delve his tongue deeper into the caverns of Eren's mouth.

Their tongues clashed with forceful jabs, curling and mingling with one another as the heat of arousal flared higher and higher. Eren moaned into the kiss and spread his legs open wider. He was ready to be taken. He needed Jean inside him. Now.

And then things got weird. Again.

Jean was ripped away from Eren. He screeched and flailed as he was dragged off the bed by a plantacle wrapped like a vice around his ankle. Curious about Jean's sudden disappearance and the fearful noises he was making, Eren opened his eyes, seeking out the missing man. His eyes widened when he noticed the thick root circling Jean's ankle.

"Jean!" he called out uselessly, shifting up from his position on the bed.

"Jaeger, don't just sit there! Fucking help me!" Jean screamed, grabbing onto the plantacle in a futile attempt to rid himself of the restraint.

Jean continued neighing for freedom, but the plantacle ignored his protests and tossed him into the hallway in a crumpled heap. Jean sat up with a growl and tried to reenter the room to give that plantacle a piece of his mind, but the plant seemingly sighed, bored of the Jean's antics, and smacked him across the cheek. Jean fell to the floor, completely unconscious. The plantacle quickly closed the door and fastened the lock.

Meanwhile, Eren watched the spectacle unfold right in front of him with wide, disbelieving eyes.

"So it wasn't a dream," he whispered, his breath hitching as he saw the plantacle inching closer to him.

As terrified as Eren felt in that moment, he couldn't shake this burning desire to be filled that arose inside him. It was real. The object of his fantasies, which had given him an incredible night of unprecedented pleasure a week ago, was actually right in front of him. The thought of experiencing the pleasure of that night again made him cry out with a low whine.

The tip of the plantacle reached his foot, caressing the top softly as it slowly wound its way around his ankle. A second plantacle appeared and followed suit, performing the same maneuver around his other ankle. The plantacles tightened and pulled his legs apart, spreading them wide open to completely expose his asshole.

Eren's cheeks flushed red, humiliated for being in such a compromising position, but his groin stirred in anticipation. He peeked over his shoulder to his desk to get a glimpse of the plant, but he felt a cold shiver run down his spine at the sight. The flower pot was empty, save for the disturbed soil.

Eren started as he felt something brush against his shoulder. He turned his head, expecting to see another plantacle, but instead he saw a beautiful naked man staring right at him with an annoyed expression. Eren's blush deepened when the realization that the gorgeous man in front of him could see everything he had on display dawned on him.

"Wh-who are you?" Eren stuttered, moving his hands to his groin to cover his nudity. Two more plantacles appeared, thwarting his attempt at modesty by circling around his wrists and pulling his hands above his head.

The man clicked his tongue . "You already know my name, brat. You've been saying it every night in your sleep for the past week."

"L-Levi?"

Eren trembled as the Levi languidly brushed his fingertips against Eren's inner thigh, slowly moving closer and closer to his hardening bulge. Eren bit his lower lip to stifle a moan.

"I'm a bit disappointed, Eren. Posting ads on Craigslist to meet a fuck buddy? Are you really that unpopular that you had to resort to that?" Levi snorted before leaning in closer, placing his lips against Eren's ear. "You know, if you're really that desperate, you can beg me to fuck you. Do you want me to fuck you, brat?"

Eren whimpered as he felt Levi's tongue swirl around his earlobe and dance down the curve of his neck. He pulled against his restraints, wanting to touch this Adonis-like man worshipping his heated body, but the plantacles held his hands firmly in place.

Levi's fingers softly grazed Eren's member, causing the boy to shudder and crane his head back. It felt so good. He needed more. He needed Levi's attention lower. Eren lifted his hips, silently pleading for the man to touch him, but Levi just chuckled darkly and smirked at the unraveling boy underneath him.

"What is this? I barely touch you and you're already becoming such a mess."

Levi watched the boy thrash around as he palmed Eren's erection. He moved his hand down lower and traced his lubed fingers around Eren's puckered hole, massaging the ring gently before pushing his index finger inside. Eren cried out and bucked his hips.

"Ahh, please, Levi. Please," he begged breathily between moans, arching his back as Levi began thrusting his finger in and out, abusing his sensitive prostate. Levi quickly added another finger, scissoring to speed up the stretching process.

This boy's reactions were certainly amusing. He was so sensitive to Levi's touches, and all of the pleasure he felt was clearly displayed on his face in such an erotic expression. Levi had never seen a sight more beautiful than the lust radiating from Eren's eyes.

Levi lowered himself onto Eren and claimed the boy's parted lips with his own. Eren broke away from the kiss and whimpered wantonly as Levi rutted against him, their members rubbing against one another. Levi quickened his pace, bucking his hips sharply against Eren's.

After a particularly naughty whine slipped between Eren's lips, Levi had to take a moment to pause. He needed to take this boy now. Right now. He needed to feel Eren squeeze all around him, drawing him deeper and deeper into his warmth while making more of those filthy, alluring noises.

Levi pressed the tip of his erection against Eren's entrance, and he placed a chaste kiss on the boy's cheek before thrusting home. Levi smirked as Eren groaned loudly at the intrusion.

The feeling of Eren's sweet, tight ass as it stretched around his throbbing arousal was just one of the many perks of being a Levi Flower.

_Meanwhile, in the hallway…_

Jean opened his eyes, blinking furiously to get rid of the fogginess. He glanced down at his body, taking notice of the fact that he was very naked. He struggled to sit up and rubbed his aching cheek.

"What the hell happened?"

He surveyed the immediate area for clues. His eyes landed on the locked door in front of him.

Oh yeah. That's right! He was here to fuck that Jaeger kid with the pretty green eyes. But how did he get in the hallway?

Jean's eyes narrowed. He remembered now. That flower grew plantacles, tossed him out here, and then slapped him in the face! He furrowed his brow and gritted his teeth. Nobody slaps Jean Kirstein in the face and gets away with it! He balled up his trembling fists. He was going to teach that plant a lesson! And then he would prove his sexual prowess all night long by debauching Eren, who would definitely be swooning after Jean's heroic rescue.

Jean quickly stood up and rammed his shoulder against the wooden door repeatedly until it finally gave away. He stumbled into the room with raised fists.

"Alright, Plant! Prepare to feel my wrath!"

Jean halted in his spot. His eyes widened at the sight before him. There were a hundred plantacles poised for war, guarding the bed where Eren slept, covered in sweat and god knows what other fluids, with a small flower cuddled against his chest.

The plantacles swayed, challenging Jean to a battle, daring him to take one more step. Jean, realizing a defeat when he saw one, relented and held up his hands in a show of submission and asked, "Can I at least grab my clothes?"

Jean walked home nude that night.


	3. Chapter 3

A month passed, and Eren spent a large portion of that time in the throes of orgasmic bliss, fooling around with Levi under his sheets whenever the opportunity arose. Unfortunately, Levi was exclusively in flower form during their sessions.

Eren sighed. He was disappointed by that revelation. Sure, the plantacles were great and they felt really good when they were getting him off, he wouldn't contest that fact, but since that time Levi assumed his human form to deflower him, Eren couldn't get the image of his stunning beauty out of his memory. The way the sweat rolled down the elegant planes of his face, the slight reddening of his cheeks from exerting himself over Eren, the way his fringe clung to his forehead to frame his delicate face, the curving of his brows when he finally reached climax. Eren bit his bottom lip at the memories. Levi was a damn fine specimen, and Eren really wanted to have another glimpse.

Desperate to find a solution for his pining, Eren researched his Levi Flower online for information, but after nearly a hundred fruitless Google searches he was getting discouraged, and he almost entirely surrendered the hope of ever seeing human Levi again until he stumbled upon a website hidden in the dark abyss of the internet. According to that website, there was a shop located nearby with a potion that could temporarily transform plants into humans. Eren peeked over his shoulder at the unimpressed plant and smiled darkly. The Levi Flower seemingly rolled its eyes, aware that the brat was definitely thinking of something stupid.

The next day, Eren was at the address posted on the website purchasing the mysterious transformation potion from the elderly woman manning the counter. She handed the product over to Eren with a knowing "Good luck". Sensing the ominous foreshadowing in her tone, he bowed his head with a mumbled "Thank you" and zipped out of the store to return home, barely able to contain his excitement. Unfortunately, the moment he walked through the doorway, Armin and Mikasa interrupted him from his plans.

"Hey, Eren, can we talk to you for a minute?" Mikasa asked quietly from her spot on the couch beside Armin, twisting her fingers in her scarf.

Eren growled and stopped walking. Hiding the bag behind his back, he turned around to face her. "Uh. Yeah, sure. What's up?"

There was a tense moment of silence. Armin looked between Mikasa and Eren before he said, "Well, we've been noticing that you've been talking about your flower at lot recently..."

"His name is Levi," Eren interrupted, putting his free hand on his hip. "What about him?"

Armin flinched at Eren's tone. He knew he was getting his hopes up too high when he thought this would go smoothly. "Well, Mikasa and I think that maybe you might possibly be sort of becoming a little too... fond of... Levi..."

Eren slanted his brows dangerously and glared at Armin. "What do you mean by that?"

Armin sighed heavily at Eren's defensiveness. Just once he would like to have a civil conversation with Eren where he could freely express his thoughts and views, but no. No. Eren just has to get enraged about anything and everything and have a temper tantrum like a bratty five year old.

Armin stood up from the couch, puffed out his chest, and took a step toward his friend. "Eren, you talk about your plant nonstop. The only thing that comes out of your mouth is 'Levi would say this' or 'Levi would do that'!" Armin waved his arms above his head and raised his voice. "Newsflash Eren, Levi is a fucking flower! It-"

"HE!" Eren interrupted again, baring his teeth and clenching his fists.

"IT can't talk! And it can't do anything besides be a FUCKING FLOWER!" Armin was almost hysterical at this point.

Eren moved to stand in front of his friend. "So what are you trying to say exactly?"

Mikasa stepped between the two boys. "Eren, calm down. We're not attacking you. We just think it might be a good idea to get you some help."

Eren's jaw dropped, and he shot his sister a scandalized expression. "Are you being serious right now? What? You think I'm crazy or something? Is this like some intervention shit going on right now?"

"No, of course we don't think you're crazy." Mikasa tried to reach for Eren's shoulder to comfort him, but he smacked her hand away.

"Stop! Just stop talking! I'm not crazy! And I don't need your help!" Eren shoved past his sister and stormed down the hallway.

"Eren, where are you going?" Mikasa called after his retreating form.

Eren's bedroom door slammed in response.

Armin sighed again and looked over at Mikasa. "That went just as well as I expected."

Mikasa was silent for a moment before she nodded in agreement. "Yeah."

Armin looked back to the television screen in front of them. "Oh look, commercial break is over."

While Armin and Mikasa caught up on the latest drama of _Scandal_, Eren was seething behind his locked bedroom door. How dare they accuse him of needing help! He didn't need therapy! Levi wasn't just a fucking flower. Yeah, Levi liked to fucked Eren a lot as a flower. In that sense, he supposed Armin was correct about Levi being a "fucking flower", but Levi was more than that. Eren saw with his very own eyes that Levi possessed a human form locked up somewhere beneath his leafy, photosynthesizing exterior, and he would attempt to explain that to Mikasa and Armin if he could, but he was afraid that they would definitely check him into the nearest mental ward afterwards.

He sighed and closed his eyes, feeling a sudden wave of hopelessness wash over him. How could he convince them that he wasn't crazy?

He opened his eyes and looked down to the bag in his hand. Realization of what was in his possession set in, and an eerie smile crept onto his lips as a new idea popped into his head. If he were to show Armin and Mikasa that Levi could turn into a human then they would be forced to believe him, and luckily for him, he just bought the very potion that would make his scheme a reality. Eren snickered and rubbed his palms together. His plan was coming together nicely.

He sprinted over to the Levi Flower still perched on his desk and rummaged through the bag, pulling out the bottle resting on the bottom. Once the potion was in his grasp, he popped the lid.

He smiled brightly at the flower in front of him. "Levi, I've missed you," Eren cooed as he drizzled the liquid onto the plant until the bottle was empty. "Please become human again. Please. Just for me."

And then Eren waited. And waited. And he continued waiting some more, but nothing happened.

He frowned. "What the fuck? You're supposed to become a human! Why are you not transforming?" Eren squeezed his eyes shut and fell back onto his bed. His plan was a dud. He wasted his money for nothing, and he had nothing to show Mikasa and Armin to absolve him of his pending charge of insanity.

Eren stilled. Maybe they were right. Maybe he was going crazy. Perhaps he just imagined the whole scenario of Levi turning into a person in his head, and maybe the plantacles were just some strange hallucination that was so advanced he could actually feel it! Eren gasped loudly, distraught by the thought, and shot up from his position on the bed, eyes opened wide. Then he screamed.

"Why are you screaming? What the hell is wrong with you?" Levi scolded, glaring at Eren as he patted his drenched skin with a crumpled towel. Eren rubbed his eyes. Levi arched his brow, clearly not amused by Eren's behavior.

Eren tentatively spoke, "Levi? Are you real?"

Levi snorted. "Idiot. Why did you dump a bottle of sugar water on me?" He gestured to his wet torso.

Realizing that Levi was completely nude, Eren blushed and looked away shyly. "I-I'm sorry. I- Wait." Eren snapped his head back to face Levi. "It was only sugar water? What the hell? I spent $20 on that!"

"You paid $20 for sugar water?" Levi said with a condescending grin.

Eren fumed. "Well, it was supposed to turn you into a human!" He smacked his forehead. "Oh my God! I can't believe I just wasted $20 on sugar water! I'm so pissed off right now!" He gasped. "Wait!"

Levi rolled his eyes.

Eren smiled brightly. "You're human! Oh wow, Levi! It worked! I can't believe this whole time all I needed was sugar water to make you transform!" Eren giggled and wrapped his arms tightly around Levi's shoulder. "Oh, you're so sticky!"

Levi grimaced and pushed against Eren's shoulders to pry the brat off of him. Eren fell back onto the mattress. "Look, I don't know what you've heard, but poisoning me with that filth didn't turn me into a human."

Eren blinked. "But you're a human now..."

"I became a human from my own power."

"If you could do that then why didn't you turn into a human before?" Eren asked, shifting onto his elbows and narrowing his eyes slightly.

Levi rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at the bed. "Because you never asked. I didn't know you wanted me to be human." He said the next part hesitantly, "I thought maybe you liked me better as a pretty flower."

"Of course not!" Levi quickly looked back to Eren and glared. Eren, realizing his tone came off somewhat harsh, softened his voice and grinned sheepishly. "I mean, you are a beautiful flower, but I think you're also beautiful as a person." Levi's face relaxed slightly at the admission, and Eren reached his hand up to caress his cheek.

"Shut up. You already tried to kill me with enough sugar today. I don't need any more," Levi murmured, moving to hover over Eren. He glided his fingers up Eren's thigh, and Eren closed his eyes, moving his hand to the back of Levi's head. Levi leaned down, pressing his lips against Eren's in a soft kiss. He pulled away slightly but still remained within kissing range.

Eren opened his eyes and looked up at Levi with a wide smile on his face. "Levi, is there a way for you to become a human permanently?

Levi looked away from Eren for a moment before locking eyes once again. "Well, there is one way. But I'm not sure if a brat like you would be able to handle it." Levi smirked and leaned down to plant small kisses on Eren's neck.

"Please tell me, Levi," Eren pleaded, craning his neck to give Levi more access. He closed his eyes and moaned slightly as Levi sucked generously on his neck.

Levi hummed against Eren's heated skin, "Eren, if you really want me to become fully human, you need to fertilize me."

Eren's eyes cracked open. "Huh?"

Levi sat up from his position over Eren and laid down on his back beside him. "I need you to fill me with your seed." Eren watched Levi's hand with wide eyes as it moved down its owner's chest to the junction where his thigh met his hip.

Eren didn't need to be told a second time. He mumbled a few praises to whatever deities were smiling down at him for making this a reality and quickly pounced onto the hunky man spreading his legs for him. It was so great, Eren didn't care that the plantacles completely shredded his clothes, and he didn't even mind Levi cursing at him or threatening to castrate him when he got a little too passionate with his thrusting.

After Eren spent his seed and pulled out of Levi, he sighed softly and fell onto the broad chest below him. He nuzzled into Levi's shoulder and the corners of his lips curved into a smile. "So, does this mean that you're human now?" he asked quietly.

Levi tensed underneath him. "Uh. About that." He sat up and Eren fell to his side on the mattress.

"Levi?"

"Oh well, would you look at the time." Levi rose from the bed. He quickly stormed over to the desk and disappeared in a poof of smoke. When the cloud dissipated, Levi was a small, beautiful flower once again.

Eren jumped to his feet and shrieked, "LEVI?!"

He watched dumbfounded as the flower inched along the desk to the flower pot, using its leaves to pull itself up on the ceramic lip to burrow its roots into the soil.

Meanwhile, in the living room, Armin and Mikasa were absorbed in the show. The drama almost reached its climax when Eren's voice erupted from his bedroom, "Levi, you asshole! You lied to me about becoming fully human so you could use my body and get yourself off?! I was going to show Armin and Mikasa that you were a human! I hate you! Let's see if I ever let you touch me again!"

Armin reached for the remote and raised the volume of the television. He and Mikasa shared a look

They were definitely going to call the therapist tomorrow.


	4. Extra: Eren Watering His Flower

**A/N: **Hey everybody! I'm working on a fourth chapter. In the meantime, enjoy this short extra!

* * *

Eren was about to set up Levi's bathing tub when his cell phone vibrated in his pocket. Levi shot Eren an irritated frown while Eren returned a sheepish look. "I can igno-"

"Just answer it. It'll be more annoying if it just keeps ringing," Levi muttered tersely, yanking his tub out of Eren's grasp, placing it on the floor, and climbing into the basin.

Eren let out a dejected sigh and reached for his cell phone, answering unenthusiatically, "Hello?"

"Hey Eren," came Jean's sauve nicker from the other side of the call.

Eren blinked. "Uh, hello... Jean, was it?" he said uncertainly as he gripped the handle of the watering can Levi held up for him.

"Yeah!" Jean beamed, so happy that Eren remembered his name! Maybe he would finally get to fuck him! Unless that damn flower cockblocked him aga-

He took a deep breath and stopped that line of negative thoughts. This time he would close the deal. He was sure of it!

Jean cleared his throat and asked sweetly, "Hey, so my friend Connie and I are going to a party. I was wondering if you wanted to join us?" _Please say yes. Please say yes!_

Eren hesitated before answering, "Uh, I'm sorry, I can't. I'm watering my boyfriend right now. But I'll catch ya next time, okay!" He pressed the end call button and focused his attention on Levi, sprinkling water onto the gorgeous man below him.

Levi glanced up at Eren with a scowl. "A little more to the left."

Eren rolled his eyes, but he smiled and moved the watering can to the left to appease his sassy flower boyfriend. Levi settled into his tub with his crossed feet resting comfortably on the edge and a content grin on his face. "Perfect."

Meanwhile, Jean growled as the dial tone hummed into his ear. That plant. That fucking plant! Still ruining Jean's attempts at seducing Eren! Oh, how badly he wanted to rip that stupid flower out of its pot, chew it all up, spit it out, and stomp all over it.

Connie shoved the last 12-pack into the trunk. He slammed it shut and looked over his shoulder at Jean. "Is Eren coming with us?" he teased with a mischievous grin, wiggling his ass from side to side for dramatic effect.

Jean glared at the phone in his trembling fist, anger boiling in his gut. He screamed and smashed the device onto the ground before turning to Connie. He hissed, "No. He said he's busy watering his boyfriend..."

"Oh, he has a boyfriend... Tough break, man," Connie said with half-hearted sympathy, but his curiosity was piqued and, undetered by Jean's obvious rage, he asked, "So, is that like some new sex thing I should be aware of or...?" Connie reached into his pocket, grabbing his phone to research.

"Ugh!" Jean tossed his hands up and trudged around the car, throwing himself into the vehicle and slamming the door.

Connie opened the driver's side door, laughing hysterically as he fell into the seat clutching his aching side. "Oh, damn, I had no idea this Eren kid was so damn kinky! Seriously, Google this shit!"

"Dude, I don't wanna know! Just shut up and drive already!" Jean interrupted, slapping his hands to his face to cover his blush. He knew all about Eren's kinks. More than he ever wanted or needed to know.

And so they drove around the bend with Connie's obnoxious laughter and Jean's woeful whinnies fading into the background, blending into the hypnotic melodies of Connie's Patented Party Playlist blaring from the speakers.


End file.
